Experience

Ah, Tibet: the Land of Snows, the Roof of the World, the home of my distant ancestors who were summoned to Nepal some three hundred years ago by Buddhists who needed rain-bringers. Tibet! The place I may never be able to visit, the culture I will never truly experience, the language of which I will never be able to fluently speak.

And am I even Tibetan? People have told me no, I am Nepalese because my family have lived there for generations, long before China ever illegally occupied Tibet. I am confused; did my ethnicity morph into something different then? Even though my family have retained Tibetan culture, Tibetan Buddhist religion (of the Nyingma tradition), and have kept their Tibetan dialect? Strictly speaking, my ethnicity is Yolmo; as I understand it, they came from the Kyerong region in southern Tibet but yes, Yolmos have lived in Nepal for such a long time.

Sometimes I wonder if I truly belong anywhere. Not my father’s culture, for I never grew up surrounded by it. How sad! The only things I know about my Himalayan heritage is what I’ve read in books or searched on the internet. Or I have heard snippets about it from my parents. That’s only a virtual understanding, not a true, lived experience, no? There is an urgency to know because there are only around 10,000 Yolmo speakers. Beyond the Yolmo, beyond Nepal, Tibetans in Tibet (although some people wrongfully call it China) must live with little freedom. Are you someone who knows what it’s like to watch in dismay the oppression of your people? Perhaps, then, you will empathise when I say I have a duty to learn as much as possible so I can pass on beautiful Tibetan culture to future generations.

And to be mixed race in London? I love it. It is diverse, and to me, diversity is the most beautiful thing because it actively teaches us compassion. Every living thing is different, but that is no reason to hate others. It is difference that should inspire love. This is why I adore London, why I will always call it my home, no matter what part of the world I am in. I will always love the red buses (the 31 being my favourite), and that green spot in Little Venice that overlooks the canal. I will always love the old buildings next to the new, as well as busy Portobello, and the atmospheric pubs (although I will never love how expensive they are). Within all these special little locations, I will always love how you can meet someone whose ancestors come from various continents, and I will always want to listen to their history.

And some people might ask: ‘why does it matter where you are from? That’s all in the past! Forget about it!’ I say: it was not even our species that learned to cultivate fire. It was Homo Erectus. And look what that extinct hominid did for us! We, too, learned to cultivate fire, and from that knowledge sprung civilisations. From that knowledge sprung everything Homo Sapiens has ever created. Why should we forget what little Homo Erectus discovered? Every single thing that has happened in history matters, because it has brought you to where you are now. This, I believe, is karmic law.